Married to a Brownsville Bully 2 Page 8

  “Auntie know? She loves Denim.”

  “Nope.”

  “I’ll keep my mouth shut; you don’t need to worry about that,” she promised. Alicia was good with keeping her mouth shut. I knew she wouldn’t say anything to my mother about who I was pregnant by.

  “Thank you. How did this happen?”

  “I really like him, cuz. He’s so sweet and rough around the edges. He’s moving to New York but plans to be back and forth.”

  “Okay, I’m happy for you and hope it lasts.”

  “So do I. I’m pregnant and ready to be a wife. I’m not trying to be someone’s baby mama for the rest of my life.”

  “I feel you.”

  “Speaking of being pregnant by Denim, what’s going on with Yolani?”

  “Me and her aren’t legally married and she’s been on her own time. We’re taking a break and trying to figure things out.”

  “Wait, not legally married?”

  “Yep. I’ve got too much stuff going on to deal with Yolani and her bullshit,” I rolled my eyes. “I’m too busy trying to keep this food down and deal with my mother.”

  “We have a spare room in our condo. I don’t mind you coming to stay with us for a while. Grand is between here and Virginia, and I’m here all day with nothing to do.”

  As tempting as Alicia’s offer was, I would be damned if I went and lived with her. I would go and get my own apartment before I moved in with my cousin. She forgot that we had to live together for two years and it was hell. The girl is sloppy and inconsiderate to people’s property. It was the same reason that I didn’t allow her to move in with me when she was kicked out of her friend’s house. Me and her couldn’t live under the same roof. When we were younger, we had no choice. Now that I was a grown ass woman, I had a choice, and my choice wasn’t to live with her ass.

  “I’m fine. I’ll probably start apartment hunting or something.” I didn’t know if I wanted an apartment alone just yet. It was something that I had been thinking about. Moving in alone meant that this was real. Me and Yolani weren’t together, and I was going to be moving on without her. When I said my vows, I meant them. It was her who was deceiving and didn’t keep it real with me from the start.

  “If you need help, let me know. I’m always bored in the house when Grand is away.”

  “I will,” I lied again.

  Now that she knew we were both pregnant, she was going to make sure we spent as much time together, and I wasn’t pleased. My cousin wasn’t that bad; I just preferred to be alone half the time. I was a only child and used to my solitude. Alicia stayed in my room for a bit before she hugged me bye and went back downstairs to talk to my mother. Soon as she closed the door, I locked it and climbed back into bed with the taste of those ribs on my tongue.

  Today was the day. I finally pulled myself out the bed, combed my hair and had a decent outfit on. My mother had gone to work early so my dad was just home. I wasn’t too sure if he had work today or if he was off. For most of the morning, I sat in bed and handled business from my laptop. The sun was peeking out and I was desperate to get out of the house. After spending almost two weeks in the house, I needed to get out of this house and feel some air on my skin. I’ve always been the type that got stir crazy when left in the house for too long. My mother had made enough smart remarks since the dinner to convince me that I needed to get out from under her roof. Whenever we were both in the same room of the house, she would have a smart remark that would piss me off. If it was any other person, I would have cussed them out into next Tuesday. Except, it was my mother, and I couldn’t unleash all these years of hurt and anger at her.

  “Hey, baby girl. What you up to today?” My father questioned when he saw me come into the kitchen.

  “I’m going to the shop to check on everyone, and then going to look at a few apartments with a realtor.”

  “Realtor? Baby girl, you don’t need to leave so soon. We’re not pushing you out,” he took a sip of his morning coffee. “It’s just me and your mama, so we actually like the company.”

  “Daddy, I believe it when it comes from you, but with mama, I don’t believe it. She goes out of her way to tell me how displeased she is with my pregnancy. Why do you allow her to pull you into what she doesn’t like?”

  “When you’ve been married as long as we have, you compromise, babe. I don’t agree with everything your mother does, but a happy wife is a happy life.”

  “Even with your own child?” There was no need for me to go back and forth with my father.

  My mother had always made it easy for my father. She’s always made home his escape when he came through those pine-oak doors. It didn’t matter that she worked too, dinner was always on the table, and his shower was running soon after he finished, followed by a beer on the sitting room end table. My father had it made when it came to having to step in to raise me. I was a self-sufficient child and pretty much did everything on my own. My mother did her job as a mother and my father footed the bill. Why go against the woman that runs your entire life where you never have a care in the world? He never did when I was a teen, and I didn’t expect him to do it with me being an adult.

  “Hazel, you and your mother have had this tit for tat relationship your entire life. One minute you are both fine, then the next you’re not. What is going on now?”

  “Besides the fact that I’m pregnant.”

  “She did mention it to me the other night. I was so consumed with the tennis match I didn’t pay her any mind. Are you pregnant or not?”

  “I am.”

  “By Yolani… I’m not sure how it works, Hazel. You know I’m trying,” he chuckled, and I laughed too as I pulled a seat up across from him.

  “I know you are, Daddy. I didn’t tell mama, but it’s by Denim. Me and Yolani has been going through some issues and I slipped up with Denim.”

  “Denim’s back into town. Ro-Ro didn’t tell me,” he called Denim’s mother by her nickname. Every adult called her by that name, and if you didn’t, it meant that you weren’t close to her.

  “He came back to open another one of his shops. We had dinner together and…” My voice trailed off because it was embarrassing to talk to my dad about cheating on my wife.

  “Then that baby came. I don’t like how the baby came about, but I am happy to be having a grandchild soon.” He smiled and touched my hand.

  “Thanks, Dad. I’m happy someone is excited because I’m nervous.”

  “Me and your mama were scared when she found out she was pregnant with you. We worried about a bunch of stuff you don’t need to worry about. You’re successful, and that baby will be loved from us and from you. Not to mention, I know Denim will be excited to be a father.”

  “We still haven’t had a conversation on how this is going to work between us,” I sighed. “Dad, being an adult is hard.”

  “Well, you’re about to be an adult and a mother, so that’s even harder,” he cracked a smile. “Go on about your day. I need to go get ready for work anyway.” He stood up, drained the remainder of his coffee into the sink and came to kiss me on the forehead.

  “Thank you for the chat, Dad.” I smiled.

  “Anytime, baby. I wished you would come out that room more often, but I understand why.” He winked and went upstairs to his bedroom.

  After having a quick chat with my father, I felt good about things, and I knew I now needed to have a conversation with Denim. We needed to figure out what we were going and how we were going to move forward with everything pertaining to this baby. I knew he wanted to talk about us and we were going with our relationship, but right now wasn’t the time for that. I had a gut filled with his baby, and I didn’t need to be thinking of a relationship with Denim. Especially with everything that was going on with Yolani. Yolani was stubborn so when she stopped calling, I knew she was not officially in her feelings. She felt like she wasn’t about to kiss my ass, even if she was the one that fucked up. Grabbing a bottled water, my keys and purse, I headed to
Denim’s apartment. My wheels should have been going in the opposite direction, not to his home.

  Denim was a good man, and if I had to have a baby by anyone, I was glad it was him. It wasn’t the fact that he could provide for both me and the baby. It was about him being a good man, morally. He took care of his daughter and never talked bad about his baby mother, even though I had heard him argue with her a few times. He never got off the phone and bad mouthed her. Instead, he would state how he knew he had some fault in the argument. If there was a perfect man, it would be Denim. Except, I felt like I didn’t deserve a man like him. I was a filthy slut who fucked him bareback and ended up pregnant while supposed to be married to someone else. How did a woman like me, land a man like him?

  My wheels pulled in front of his apartment building and I killed my engine. I was scared to come face to face with him. I had blew up on him and stormed out of his store last time we spoke. He told me about Yolani not being my wife, so how did he think I would react? He dropped a huge bomb after I found out that I was carrying a little bomb made by his ass. It didn’t take me long to make it to the front of his door. This was crazy; I didn’t even know if he was home or not. Usually, I would know where he was, but I had made it a point not to give a shit. When I locked myself in my parent’s house, I stopped trying to keep up with everybody. Mo had been the only person I spoke to, and that was because she pushed herself into my bedroom and threatened to key my car if I didn’t open the door for her.

  “Hazel, you good?” He opened his eyes. I hadn’t realized I’ve been standing there in my own thoughts that I didn’t knock on the door. Denim was wearing a duffle bag on his shoulder and looked as if he was going on vacation or something.

  “I… we need to talk,” I stammered. His sudden presence had me at a loss for words. Denim had me wanting to wrap him up in my legs like I have plenty of times before.

  “Ight. About what?” He stood there like he didn’t even want to let me inside his place. Was I subject to conversations in the hallway now?

  “Well, I wanted to talk about how we’re going to co-parent with the baby and stuff like that.” When I mentioned the baby, his face softened.

  “Come in.” was all he said and stepped away from the door to allow me to walk inside. I walked inside clutching my purse and sat on his couch. This place looked the same and smelled the same. It was as if no time had passed and everything in his house was exactly the same. Nothing was out of place like always. “What you want to talk about?”

  “This baby,” I choked out. “I’m scared and I have the support of no one. How am I going to have this baby without any support?”

  “You have my support, and you already know my moms is going to be there for us too. I’m not trying to have you go through this alone, Hazel. I went half on this baby with you and I want to be here to help you go through everything.”

  “I’m just so confused, Denim. You’re who I can talk to about everything I’ve just been holding it all in,” I wept.

  He placed his bag down and came and comforted me on the couch. Rubbing my shoulders, he kissed my forehead and allowed me to cry and complain about everything. “Stop crying because it’s not like you got pregnant by a nigga that’s not shit. I’m gonna hold you down, even though you don’t need me to hold you down.”

  “I just want you to know that I love you. My feelings I feel for you aren’t a game. I don’t want to hurt you, Denim. My life is complicated, and I can’t tell you how many times I just want to toss in the towel with Yolani and start over with you, but I can’t. I can’t leave the relationship with her and jump straight with you and hand you all the issues I have.”

  “I’m not asking you to do that. All I want is for you to choose what’s right for you. If you feel like making your marriage work is the key, then I had no choice but to support that. Long as Yolani can respect my role as the father of your child, then I can respect her role as the stepmother to my child.”

  This man was so fucking mature and it was so foreign to hear these words come out his mouth. If this was Yolani, she would have been cursing and being immature about the entire situation. Denim was sitting here giving me his blessings to go and make things work with Yolani if that’s what I wanted to do. Deep down, it wasn’t what I wanted to do at all. I didn’t want to be with Yolani and raise my child. I wanted to be with Denim and raise our child together. At first, I didn’t know what I wanted to do, but I wanted to be with him, and I wanted to be his real wife this time.

  “I want to be with you, Denim,” I told him.

  “Haze, you just saying that shit. We can talk about this when I get back. I got a bachelor party to go to in Vegas, and I’m a day late since I had the grand opening to the shop,” he told me.

  I was supposed to be there to cheer him on at his grand opening and I wasn’t. Too busy stuck in my ways, I wasn’t there for him like I should have been. “Sorry.”

  “You’re good. There will be others, and you’ll make those, I’m sure of it,” he winked.

  “Marry me, Denim. Take me to Vegas and let’s get married,” I blurted, unsure of what the hell I was doing right about now. All I was doing was being impulsive, and for the first time, I didn’t feel like it was a bad thing or that I was making a bad decision. My chest heaved up and down, and I gripped the side of my pants like my life depended on it, yet I didn’t take back the words I had spat out previously.

  “Hazel, if you don’t go home and rest,” he chuckled and waved it off. When he realized, I was serious, and I hadn’t moved, cracked a smile or even tried to breathe, he stopped smiling.

  “You serious?”

  “I am. We didn’t do what we were supposed to do years ago. Life separated us and we were supposed to be together. God made all of this happen and who are we to not do something about it? This baby, us falling in love – all of this.”

  He stood there and didn’t know what to do. I watched as he ran his hand across his face a few times as he was debating with himself. “You crazy as shit,” he laughed and rushed over to me and picked me up. “But, you already know I don’t love it unless it’s a little crazy.” He kissed me on the lips as he held me up in the middle of the living room.

  “I love you, Denim.” For once, I was doing something that I wanted to for myself. I wasn’t listening to anyone else, except my heart.

  8

  Yolani

  Word around town was that Cherry’s hoe ass had gotten out the hospital. She was so bad that they had to release her to her sister’s house with nurses that cleaned her wounds. The last thing I needed was to go over and see her, so I booked a flight to the west coast like Yoshon had requested. He claimed he had some big thing he needed to talk to me about. If it gave me more money, then I was jumping my ass on a plane to find out what he needed to tell me. Hazel’s ass had been gone and hadn’t even called me. I wasn’t surprised; she felt like she was owed an apology. Neither of us were angels in this, and we both needed to come together and fix this shit before it was too late. I loved my wife and a paper didn’t change that shit. Hazel got caught up on the wrong things. She was so busy worried about a damn paper instead of being the wife of someone as big as I was. She had any and everything she could think of. Instead of being grateful that she lived in a beautiful home, had a foreign car and had a successful nail shop because of me wasn’t enough for her.

  Then she had to be the one to go ahead and fuck another nigga behind my back. Yeah, I wasn’t a saint, and I did shit the way I wanted during our relationship, but did she have to do a nigga like that? I grabbed my duffle bag and exited off the plane. Yoshon didn’t need much, but when he did, I made sure I came through for him. It had been a while since me and my brother kicked it. I lowkey was praying this wasn’t some intervention. Knowing Hazel, her big mouth ass probably spilled all my business to Yoshon and Pit Pat. At the end of the day I’m a grown ass bitch and if I want to dabble in some drugs, I can. She was acting like I was scratching and begging for another hit or some
thing. My ass was chilling and getting high when I had some downtime and shit.

  It didn’t take me no time to make it through the airport and wait outside. Yoshon told me he was going to pick me up from the airport. After waiting a few minutes, I saw a Rolls Royce pull up to pick up area. A group of boys were all hype about the whip and it was regular shit to me. Yoshon got out and wrapped me in his arms.

  “Damn, felt like I haven’t seen you in forever, baby sis.” He grabbed my duffle bag and placed it in the back seat.

  “Business is taking all of my time and shit,” I got into the front of the car. He slipped behind the wheel and pulled off. “Why the hell you out here in Cali? What’s up?”

  “In due time you’ll find out,” he spoke in codes and shit. This nigga needed to tell me why the fuck I was out here. Did he have a new business venture with the drugs and needed me to move out here to oversee it?

  “Cut the small talk. Why the fuck you move all the traps and got Grape not telling me where they are?” I cut to the chase. That was the real reason my ass was on that plane this morning to find out why the fuck he made a move like that. Yoshon wasn’t interested in the drug operation and handed that to me with pride. Now, he wanted to step in and make moves. I had to fuck up three of my soldiers, and those tough niggas still wouldn’t tell me what the hell I wanted to know.

  “I knew you came too easy,” he smirked. “You got too much on your shoulders and I’m reliving the pressure.”

  “I’m good. I’ve always been good when it comes to handling business with the streets.”

  “Nah, you haven’t. You always put the streets before your wife and your home.”

  “Hazel ain’t an issue anymore.” It seemed that big mouth hadn’t opened her mouth, so I was able to sway things to work in my favor.

  “What you mean she’s not your issue anymore? The fuck is up with y’all?”